


say it out loud

by cuubism



Series: Tumblr Prompts [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Nightmares, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuubism/pseuds/cuubism
Summary: He’s starting to feel like Magnus is someone heknows, rather than someone he’s figuring out. And with that comes an almost desperate fondness that burns in his lungs. Alec’s not sure if he’s supposed to say ‘love’ out loud yet, but he knows that’s what it is. He wants to hide Magnus in his chest. He can’t.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Tumblr Prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887421
Comments: 22
Kudos: 159





	say it out loud

**Author's Note:**

> prompt by anon on tumblr:
>
>> Honestly if you’re in a fluffy mood you can do 5 but if you still want some angst involved 6 is awesome too. (Malec...duh) I could send you prompts all day you’re incredibly talented and I hope you never stop writing Shadowhunters! 
>> 
>> (#5 - playing with their hair while their head’s in your lap, #6 - jolting awake after a nightmare and being comforted)

“Careful,” Magnus murmurs, “spoil me too much and I might never leave.”

Alec looks down at him, his hands stilling where they’ve been running mindlessly through Magnus’s hair. Magnus is boneless in his lap—he’s given up on the book he was reading and seems to be hovering on the edge of a nap. The sight makes something clench tight and warm in Alec’s chest.

“We’re in _your_ apartment,” Alec points out.

“I meant your lap.” Magnus’s eyes open lazily and he looks up at him. He’s started leaving them unglamoured in the loft, and now is no exception. Alec can’t help but reach down to run a thumb across his cheek.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

He really doesn’t. This quiet moment at home, with Magnus sprawled loose and warm beside him—it’s not something Alec ever thought he’d get to have. He doesn’t want it to end.

Magnus just blinks slowly at him, smiling fondly. “Having another person attached to you will make shadowhunting difficult.”

“Eh, screw shadowhunting.”

Magnus mock-gasps. “How quickly the devoted shadowhunter forsakes his duty! I can’t believe I’ve tempted you into this life of sloth.”

Tempted is right. Even just lounging around the house, Magnus is a vision. Alec still isn’t sure if he wears those open silk robes just because he likes them or specifically to drive Alec insane, but either way it’s working.

“Don’t play, you know exactly what you’re doing,” Alec tells him, and Magnus grins. Alec drags a fingertip down his forehead and over his nose until it lands on his lips. “My boyfriend’s a _genius_ , after all.”

Magnus takes Alec’s hand within his own and starts playing with it. “The real genius is these _fingers_.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively, as if Alec needs that clue to know what he’s talking about.

Alec frowns down at him in mock disapproval. “God, the _mouth_ on you.”

Magnus brings one of Alec’s fingers to his mouth to suck on it, stopping only briefly to say, “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

_Plenty,_ Alec thinks. He drags Magnus upright and into his lap properly. Magnus goes happily, his arms draping around Alec’s neck, his body heavy and warm on Alec’s thighs as he leans in to kiss him.

_Careful,_ Alec thinks, _spoil me too much and I’ll never let you go._

Alec hates having Magnus on patrol with him.

Not because they don’t fight well together—in fact, it’s almost frightening, the ease with which he and Magnus gel on the battlefield. Sometimes Alec thinks he was born to have Magnus’s back.

But it’s terrifying having him on patrol, having him in danger. Normally, Alec’s pretty good at compartmentalizing, reminding himself that Magnus is a strong fighter so he doesn’t use all his mental capacity worrying about him when he’s supposed to be banishing demons.

But he’s struggling with it today.

It’s because they’ve been getting closer, he’s pretty sure. They’ve been spending more time together, Alec staying the night at the loft more often than not. He’s starting to feel like Magnus is someone he _knows_ , rather than someone he’s figuring out.

And with that comes an almost desperate fondness that burns in his lungs. Alec’s not sure if he’s supposed to say ‘love’ out loud yet, but he knows that’s what it is. He wants to hide Magnus in his chest. He can’t.

God, he’s so distracted. He’s thinking about Magnus’s mouth. He’s thinking about Magnus teasing him. He’s thinking about Magnus laying his head in his lap, all soft and warm and beautiful. He’s thinking about a demon tearing all that away.

He’s not thinking about the demon flying at his face.

“Alec!” someone yells. Maybe Izzy. Alec manages to get his blade up in time to slice the demon in two right before it claws his eyes out, but he can feel the fight devolving around him.

It’s his fault. He’s distracted. He’s distracted by Magnus who’s fighting a few yards away from him, savagely dismembering demons with his magic. Alec’s been steadily edging his way closer to him even though he’s supposed be covering the other end of the street, and now they’re nearly close enough to fight back to back.

Which is why he’s close enough to see the demon hurtling into Magnus’s blind spot, claws extended.

Alec doesn’t think. He doesn’t even yell for him, which would have been the smart move. He just runs.

But he’s not fast enough.

The demon slams into Magnus, knocking him to the ground. Magnus cries out, and then Alec reaches him, banishing the demon with a downward swing of his blade that’s so forceful it almost sends him to the pavement.

He falls to his knees by Magnus’s side, hands hovering over the gaping hole in his chest. “Magnus, _Magnus_ —”

Magnus’s breath rattles in his chest. He takes Alec’s shaking hands in his own. He doesn’t look frightened, he looks resigned, and that’s the most frightening thing of all. “Alexander, I—”

_Don’t say it,_ Alec begs. _Don’t say it like this._

“Magnus!” Alec jerks upright in the dark. He can’t breathe. His chest is on fire. _“Magnus!”_

Footsteps, then Magnus skids to his knees beside the bed. “Shh, darling, it’s alright. I’m here.” His hands rove over Alec’s face, tugging at his hair.

“You’re—” Alec pants. His chest is still _killing him_ , but he leans over to see Magnus better, running desperate hands over his skin. “I thought—”

“Shh, don’t— don’t move—” Magnus tries to push him back down, but Alec won’t go.

“You— you were—” Tears are running down his cheeks, he doesn’t know what’s happening. “You were— _dying_ —”

Magnus’s fingers come to rest lightly over his lips. “No, darling, you were having a nightmare.” His other hand brushes Alec’s chest with the lightest touch. “You’re the one who nearly died.”

Alec brings a hand up to his chest, where he can now feel layers of bandages, and that relentless pain. “What? But the demon—”

“You pushed me out of the way,” Magnus says. His eyes are glamoured again, a sure sign that he’s feeling unstable. “And gave me the great scare of my long life, I might add.”

The nightmare’s starting to fade, and Alec thinks he can remember it now. Shoving Magnus with all of his strength. Watching him fall to the ground. Feeling a pang of regret that the fall would scrape up Magnus’s palms, even as the demon collided with him.

“I’m sorry,” Alec says quietly.

“No, no, it’s alright.” Magnus pulls Alec’s head to his shoulder and holds him gently. Alec sighs into his shirt. “Just please don’t do that to me again.”

“No promises,” Alec says weakly.

_No_ , he thinks as Magnus’s hands go to his hair and start running through it—a motion seemingly meant to sooth Magnus at least as much, if not more than it’s meant to soothe him. 

_No matter what it takes, I’m not letting you go._

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](cuubism.tumblr.com) :)


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